Dead and dying jokes

Making the Most of Life
by Maxie
Mumm
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How do Iranians speak on the

telephone?
Persian-to-Persian (person-to-person).
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How does a mama pig put her piglets to sleep?

She reads them pig tales.
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Michael: It's hard for my

sister to eat.
Maureen: Why ?
Michael: She can't bear to stop
talking.
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This blonde and her boyfriend were sitting in a hot tub when the blonde said to her boyfriend,"Is it true that if you pull you finger out, I'll sink?"
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Q: How is a man like a snowstorm?
A: You
never know when he's coming, how many inches you'll get, or
how long
it will last.
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|A young man asked an old rich man how he made his money.The old guy fingered his worsted wool vest and said, "Well, son, it was 1932. The depth of the Great Depression. I was down to my last nickel."I invested that nickel in an apple. I spent the entire day polishing the apple and, at the end of the day, I sold the apple for ten cents.
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Did you hear the one about the blonde that had
a problem with
her bed?
She couldn't find a knife large enough
to apply the bed spread.
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Paddy 'n'
Mick join the army, and are
put on street patrol in a city with a
military curfew. They are
given instructions to shoot anybody who's on the
streets after 6
o'clock. So one day, they're out at twenty to 6, when
Paddy spots a
man walking on the other side of the street.
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Doctor, Doctor, with all the excitement of

Christmas I can't sleep.
Try lying on the edge of your
bed...you'll soon drop off!
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