Democrats on the front porch
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This little old lady calls 911. When the operator answers she yells,"Help, send the police to my house right away! There's a damn Democraton my front porch and he's playing with himself.""What?" the operator exclaimed. "I said there is a damn Democrat on myfront porch playing with himself and he's weird; I don't know him andI'm afraid! Please send the police!" the little old lady repeated."Well, now, how do you know he's a Democrat?""Because, you damn fool, if it was a Republican, he'd be screwingsomebody!"
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A magician was employed by a
Shipping Line
to entertain the passengers during cruises. The captain
owned a
parrot which always insisted on being part of the acts put on by
the
magician. He would perch on the edge of the stage and screech, "He
does it with a mirror" or "He's got it up his sleeve.
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Shipping Line
to entertain the passengers during cruises. The captain
owned a
parrot which always insisted on being part of the acts put on by
the
magician. He would perch on the edge of the stage and screech, "He
does it with a mirror" or "He's got it up his sleeve.
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Dearn Ann:I am facing a very serious problem. You see, I am a Vietnam-era deserter from the U. S. Marines, and I have a cousin who works for Microsoft. My mother peddles Nazi literature to Girl Scouts and my father (a former dentist) is in jail for 30 years for raping most of his patients while they were under anesthesia.
Category: Miscellaneous - 0 Comments
Category: Miscellaneous - 0 Comments
A famous magician had a thundering finish to his act. He would fill a large bowl with shit and proceed to slurp it noisily, to the amazement of his audience.One night he had just begun the wow finish of his act when he stopped in his tracks. "Go ahead," said the stage manager. "Eat the shit, eat the shit!""I just can't do it", said the magician.
Category: Miscellaneous - 0 Comments
Category: Miscellaneous - 0 Comments
TOP 10 REASONS SOCCER IS BETTER THAN SEX...10. BALLS ARE ALWAYS CHECKED FOR FIRMNESS 9. PERIODS ONLY LAST 45 MINUTES8. PARENTS CHEER WHEN YOU SCORE7. SOCCER IS A LEGAL PROFESSION 6. PROTECTIVE EQUIPMENT CAN BE WASHED AND REUSED 5. SIZE DOESN'T MATTER 4. IF YOU GET TOO ROUGH YOU GET A RED CARD 3. YOU CAN SCORE USING YOUR HEAD OR YOUR FEET 2.
Category: Practical Jokes - 0 Comments
Category: Practical Jokes - 0 Comments
A woman was in court
charged with wounding her
husband. "But why did you stab him over a hundred
times?" asked the judge.
"Oh, your Honor," replied the defendant,
"I didn't know how to
switch off the electric carving knife."
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charged with wounding her
husband. "But why did you stab him over a hundred
times?" asked the judge.
"Oh, your Honor," replied the defendant,
"I didn't know how to
switch off the electric carving knife."
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|Three men stood before a judge on a charge of drunk and disorderly conduct in a public park.Judge: What were you doing?1st man: Oh, just throwing peanuts in the pond.Judge: And what were you doing?2nd man: I was throwing peanuts in the pond, too."Judge: Sounds harmless. And you, were you throwing peanuts in the pond as well?3rd man: No, sir.
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Category: Police Jokes - 0 Comments
A guy is walking past a high, solid wooden fence at the insane asylum and he hears all the residents inside chanting, "Thirteen! Thirteen! Thirteen!"He continues walking along the long fence, but, being a curious person, he can't help but wonder why they are chanting "Thirteen!" over and over.
Category: Miscellaneous - 0 Comments
Category: Miscellaneous - 0 Comments
Did you hear someone has invented a
coffin that just covers the head?
It's for people like you who're
dead from the neck up!
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coffin that just covers the head?
It's for people like you who're
dead from the neck up!
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Democrats on the front porch
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