
Dictionary for women
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|Argument (ar*gyou*ment) n. A discussion that occurs when you're right, but he just hasn't realized it yet. Airhead (er*hed) n. What a woman intentionally becomes when pulled over by a policeman. Bar-be-que (bar*bi*q) n. You bought the groceries, washed the lettuce, chopped the tomatoes, diced the onions, marinated the meat and cleaned everything up, but, he, "made the dinner." Blonde jokes (blond joks) n. Jokes that are short so men can understand them. Cantaloupe (kant*e*lope) n. Gotta get married in a church. Clothes dryer (kloze dri*yer) n. An appliance designed to eat socks. Diet Soda (dy*it so*da) n. A drink you buy at a convenience store to go with a half pound bag of peanut M&Ms. Eternity (e*ter*ni*tee) n. The last two minutes of a football game. Exercise (ex*er*siz) v. To walk up and down a mall, occasionally resting to make a purchase. Grocery List (grow*ser*ee list) n. What you spend half an hour writing, then forget to take with you to the store. Hair Dresser (hare dres*er) n. Someone who is able to create a style you will never be able to duplicate again. See "Magician." Hardware Store (hard*war stor) n. Similar to a black hole in space-if he goes in, he isn't coming out anytime soon. Childbirth (child*brth) n. You get to go through 36 hours of contractions; he gets to hold your hand and say "focus,...breath...push..." Lipstick (lip*stik) n. On your lips, coloring to enhance the beauty of your mouth. On his collar, coloring only a tramp would wear...! Park (park) v./n. Before children, a verb meaning, "to go somewhere and neck." After children, a noun meaning a place with a swing set and slide. Patience (pa*shens) n. The most important ingredient for dating, marriage and children. See also "tranquilizers." Waterproof Mascara (wah*tr*pruf mas*kar*ah) n. Comes off if you cry, shower, or swim, but will not come off if you try to remove it. Valentine's Day (val*en*tinez dae) n. A day when you have dreams of a candlelight dinner, diamonds, and romance, but consider yourself lucky to get a card
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There is a new
Barbie doll on the
market - Werewolf Barbie ...normal doll, except under
a full moon
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Barbie doll on the
market - Werewolf Barbie ...normal doll, except under
a full moon
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How do you know when there is a snowman in
your bed ?
You wake up wet !
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your bed ?
You wake up wet !
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A technician advised his customer to put his
troubled floppy
back in the drive and close the door. The customer
put the disk in, asked
the tech to hold on, and was heard putting
the phone down, getting up
and closing the door to his room.
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troubled floppy
back in the drive and close the door. The customer
put the disk in, asked
the tech to hold on, and was heard putting
the phone down, getting up
and closing the door to his room.
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A woman that was on her death-bed turned to her husband telling him he should get married soon after she'll die, to which the man said-OK.
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Category: Miscellaneous - 0 Comments
Q: What do you call a dead blonde in a closet?A: The 1984 Hide and Seek World Champion.
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Category: Miscellaneous - 0 Comments
|Our Morning Prayer . . .Our Hard Drive Which art internal Volume C by name; Thy code be clean, Thy fonts be seen On screen as they are on paper. Give us this day our documents, And lead us not into fragmentation But deliver us our data. For thine is the SCSI, And the EISA, and the NuBus, Forever and Ever, Amen.
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Category: Computing Jokes - 0 Comments
This Polak came home one day from work, hung up his coat, took off his hat and walked into his bedroom shouting "honey I am home!"What should he see but his best friend in bed with his wife.Infuriated, he rushed to the cupboard, pulled out his gun and put it to his head. His wife started laughing."Don't laugh!" he screams. "You're next!"
Category: Miscellaneous - 0 Comments
Category: Miscellaneous - 0 Comments
What did the maggot say to another ?
What's
a nice maggot like you doing in a joint like this !
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What's
a nice maggot like you doing in a joint like this !
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Computer Ease! The following are new Windows messages that are under consideration for the planned Windows 2000: 1. Smash forehead on keyboard to continue. 2. Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue. 3. Press any key to continue or any other key to quit. 4. Press any key except ... no, No, NO, NOT THAT ONE! 5.
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Category: Computers - 0 Comments


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