Difference between a cat and a dog...

Diary of a New Snow ShovelerDecenber 8th 6:00 PM It started to snow. The first snow of the season and the wife and I took our cocktails and sat for hours by the window watching the huge soft flakes drift down from heaven. It looked like a Grandma Moses print. So romantic we felt like newlyweds again.
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Why was the hen banned from sending
e-mails?
She was always using fowl language.
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Who was the burger's favourite all-time movie

director?
Sizzle B. DeMille!
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If tennis players get tennis elbow, and squash players get squash knees, what do gynecologists get?Tunnel vision!
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What's the
hardest part of making monster
soup?
Stirring it.
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|A guy goes to a psychiatrist. "Doc, I keep having these alternating recurring dreams. First I'm a teepee; then I'm a wigwam; then I'm a teepee; then I'm a wigwam. It's driving me crazy. What's wrong with me?" The doctor replies: "It's very simple. You're two tents."
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|Irishman went to a pet shop and asked how many budgies were in stock. "We have 99" replied the shop owner "Give us the lot" said the Irish man, paid for them and left. He went to a tailors shop and had 99 pockets sewn into a jacket, put a budgie in each pocket, went up to the Post Office Tower and jumped off.
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What did the lions say to his cubs when

he taught them to hunt ?
'Don't go over the road till you see
the zebra crossing.'
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Does
killing time damage
eternity?
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A certain zoo had acquired a very rare species of gorilla. Within a few weeks the gorilla, a female, became very ornery, and difficult to handle. Upon examination, the zoo veterinarian determined the problem: she was in heat. What to do? There was no male of this species available.
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