Dirty jokes

There is a new Barbie doll on the market -
Dirty Harry Barbie ...comes with
large caliber pistol; pull the
string and she says, "Go ahead >giggle<
Make my day!"
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Q: Why is the banjo player a fiddle player's
best
friend?
A: Without him, the fiddle would be the most hated
instrument on
earth.
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Girlfriend: Will you love me when I'm old and

fat and ugly?
Boyfriend: Of course I do !
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Louise was watching her big sister covering her
face
with cream.
"What's that for?" she asked.
"To make me
beautiful," came the reply.
Louise then watched in silence as she
wiped her face clean.
"Doesn't work, does it?" was her comment.
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Seymour was a good and pious man, and when he passed away, the Lord himself greeted him at the pearly gates of heaven. "Hungry, Seymour?" the Lord asked."I could eat," said Seymour.The Lord opened a can of tuna, and they shared it.
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Q: What's an accordion good for?
A: Learning
how to fold a map.
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There was this man who was in a
horrible
accident, and was injured. But
the only permanent damage he suffered
was the amputation of both of his
ears. As a result of this
'unusual' handicap, he was very
self-conscious
about his having no
ears.
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The Supreme Court has ruled that there cannot be a Nativity Scene in Washington DC this Christmasseason.This isn't for any religious reason, they simply have not been able to find three wise men and a virgin in the Nation's capitol.There was no problem, however, finding enough asses to fill the stable.
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|Q: What is the range of a tuba?A: Twenty yards if you've got a good arm.Q: What's a tuba for?A: 1 1/2 X 3 1/2.Q: There are two tubaplayers sitting in a car. Who's driving?A: The policemanTuba Player: Did you hear my last recital?Friend: I hope so.
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My
friend is so stupid he thinks
that an autograph is a chart showing sales
figures for cars.
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