Dirty jokes

What did the witch say to
the ugly toad?

I'd put a curse on you - but somebody beat me to it!
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A firefighter died and went to hell where
he finds
a wall of clocks.
After seeing all these clocks on a
wall, with his friends names under
them, he asked the devil, what the
clocks mean?
"That's easy, each time one of your friends mess up on
earth, their
clock speeds up one hour." says the devil.
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Q:
How many movie directors does it
take to change a lightbulb?
A: Just one, but he wants to do it
thirty-two times and when he's done
everyone thinks that his last
lightbulb was much better.
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What dog would you want on your American football

team?
A golden receiver!
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A man and a little boy entered a
barbershop
together. After the man received the full treatment - shave,
shampoo,
manicure, haircut, etc. - he placed the boy in the
chair.

"I'm goin' to buy a green tie to wear for the parade," he said.

"I'll be back in a few minutes.
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Why aren't burgers the
least bit scared
of Halloween?
They're used to people 'goblin' them!
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Two men and a woman were the sole survivors of a pleasure cruise shipthat sank in the Bermuda Triangle. They made it to an uninhabited island.Two weeks later the woman jumped off a cliff because she was so ashamedof what she was doing.Two weeks after that the two men buried her because they were so ashamedof what they were doing.
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|Our team is doing so badly that "Manager of the Month" isn't an award.
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A
system programmer came home from work
almost at dawn and told his wife
enthusiastically: "Tonight I have
installed a new release of MVS/ESA
together with VM/CMS and
CICS/VS".
"G.O.O.D" answered his wife.
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If you had one dollar and you
asked your
father for another, how many dollars would you have?
One dollar.

You don't know your arithmetic.
You don't know my father !
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