Do you like my new jacket?

The Seven Most Important Men in a Woman's LifeThe Doctor - who tells her to "take off all her clothes." The Dentist - who tells her to "open wide.
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Why is math always sad?Because it has too many problems.
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What do you call a blonde in a tree with a
brief case?
Branch manager.
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Dearest Darling Son and That Person You Married,Merry Christmas to you, and please don't worry about poor old me. I'm just fine considering I can't breathe, or eat. The important thing is that you have a nice holiday, thousands of miles away from your lonely ailing mother.
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How does Frankenstein sit in his chair?

Bolt upright.
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|Why didn't the two worms get on Noah's Ark in an apple?Because everyone had to go on in pairs!
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|UNIVERSITY ENTRANCE EXAM SEC FOOTBALL PLAYER VERSION (Time Limit: 3 Weeks)1. What language is spoken in France?2. Give a dissertation on the ancient Babylonian Empire with particular reference to architecture, literature, law and social conditions -OR- give the first name of Pierre Trudeau.3.
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What were Jesus' last words at the last supper?"Ok, all you guys who want to be in the picture,get on THIS side of the table"
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THINK YOU'RE HAVING A BAD DAY.... check it out these actual cases.Fire authorities in California found a corpse in a burned-out section of forest while assessing the damage done by a forest fire. The deceased male was dressed in a full wet suit, complete with scubatanks on his back, flippers, and face mask.
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The kid ran out of the burlesque show.The doorman grabbed him and asked what is the matter.The kid said, "My Mama told me if I looked at anything bad I'd turn to stone.... and I can feel it starting!"
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