Dog jokes

Q: What kind of a car does a crazy man

drive?
A: A LOCOmotive.
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There is a new Barbie doll on the market -

Bearded Barbie ...complete with tweezers
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"Do you love me more than you love sleep?"
"I
can't answer now. It's time for my nap!"
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A guy gets home early from work and hears

strange noises coming from the bedroom. He rushes upstairs to find his
wife
naked on the bed, sweating and panting.

'What's up?'
he says.

'I'm having a heart attack,' cries the
woman.

He rushes downstairs to grab the phone, but just as he's dialling.
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The garbage men were just about to leave the

street when a girl came running out of the house carrying some
cardboard
boxes.
'Am I too late for the garbage ?' she
called.
'No,' replied one of the men, 'jump right in !'
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Q. Why is the book "Women Who
Love Too Much" a
disappointment for many
men?

A. No phone numbers.
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Harold's wife bought a new line of expensive cosmetics guaranteed to make her look years younger.
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A shoplifter was caught red-handed trying to

steal a watch from an exclusive jewelry store. "Listen," said the

shoplifter, "I know you don't want any trouble either. What do you
say I
just buy the watch, and we forget about this?"

The
manager agreed and wrote up the sales slip.
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What would you call a virgin on a water bed?A cherry float!
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The room was full of pregnant ladies and their partners, and the Lamaze class was in full swing. The instructor wasteaching the women how to breathe properly, along with informing the men how to give the necessary assurances at this stage of the plan. The teacher then announced, "Ladies, exercise is good for you.
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