Dog jokes

Q: How do you know if a blonde

has been sending e-mail?
A: You see a bunch of envelopes stuffed
into the disk drive.
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|A young ensign had nearly completed his first overseas tour of sea duty when he was given an opportunity to display his ability at getting the ship under way. With a stream of crisp commands, he had the decks buzzing with men. The ship steamed out of the channel and soon the port was far behind. The ensign's efficiency has been remarkable.
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There once was a baby
elephant and
a baby turtle drinking from a river deep in the jungle. For
no
reason, the turtle reaches over and bites the elephant's tail,
really
hard.
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Why did the horseman put a saddle on a large

loaf of bread?
It was a crusty steed!
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How many tax advisors does it take to change a
light bulb?
"In the summer there is a tax deductible convention in
Hawaii, dealing
exactly with this issue."
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How did the dog feel when he lost his

flashlight?
Delighted.
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A golfer is in a competitive match with a friend, who is ahead by a couple of strokes. The golfer says to himself, "I'd give anything to sink this next putt."A stranger walks up to him and whispers, "Would you give up a fourth of your sex life?"The golfer thinks the man is crazy and that his answer will be meaningless.
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Little monster: Mom I've finished.
Can I
leave the table?
Mommy monster: Yes, I'll save it for your tea.
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What did the Gorilla call his first

wife?
His prime-mate!
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Could you kill a monster just by throwing eggs
at
him?
Of course - he'd be eggs-terminated.
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