Dog jokes

Q: What do you call
a blind German?
A: A
Not See (Nazi)
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I have this friend who has a real dilemma. His
wife
won't give him a
divorce until she figures out a way of
doing it without making him a
happy man.
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Q. Where is the first tennis match mentioned
in
the Bible?
A. When Joseph served in Pharaoh's court.
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Boy: Those clothes are very becoming on you!Girl: Why thank you!Boy: Of course, if I was on you...I would becoming too!
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Why did the pig join the Army?
He heard the
food was a mess.
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Why don't lawyers enjoy playing
golf?
Because it's too much like work, what with all of the lying

involved.
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Waiter, there's a fly in my

soup!
Don't worry sir, the spider on the breadroll will get 'em.
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One evening a man was at home watching TV and eating peanuts. He'd toss them in the air, then catch them in his mouth.In the middle of catching one, his wife asked a question, and as he turned to answer her, a peanut fell in his ear. He tried and tried to dig it out but succeeded in only pushing it in deeper.
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A wife begins to get a little worried because her husband has not arrived home on time from his regular Saturday afternoon golf game. As the hours pass she becomes more and more concerned until at 8 p.m. the husband finally pulls into the driveway. "What happened?" says the wife.
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Knock Knock
Who's there !
Caesar
!
Caesar who ?
Caesar quickly before she gets away !
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