
Don't take any chances
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|A person receives a telegram informing him about his mother-in-law's death. It also enquires whether she should be buried or burnt.He replies, "Don't take chances. Burn the body and bury the ashes."
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Not that my wife's the
jealous type or
anything, but one day at work, I had taken this
temp who was filling
in for my secretary to lunch in gratitude for an
outstanding job
on a very difficult project. As luck would have it, there was my wife
waiting in the
office for my return.
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jealous type or
anything, but one day at work, I had taken this
temp who was filling
in for my secretary to lunch in gratitude for an
outstanding job
on a very difficult project. As luck would have it, there was my wife
waiting in the
office for my return.
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At a friend's wedding, everything went
smoothly
until it was time for the flower girl and her young escort to
come down the
aisle.
The boy stopped at every pew, growling
at the guests. When asked
afterward why he behaved so badly, he
explained, "I was just trying to be a
good ring bear."
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smoothly
until it was time for the flower girl and her young escort to
come down the
aisle.
The boy stopped at every pew, growling
at the guests. When asked
afterward why he behaved so badly, he
explained, "I was just trying to be a
good ring bear."
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Dad, did you manage to
fix my toy? No, it's
not broken, the battery's flat. Well, what shape
should it be?
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fix my toy? No, it's
not broken, the battery's flat. Well, what shape
should it be?
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Q: What does Clinton have in common with his
Hollywood pals?
A: They all make a living by lying to people.
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Hollywood pals?
A: They all make a living by lying to people.
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What do you get if you cross a frog with a
decathlete?
Someone who pole-vaults without a pole.
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decathlete?
Someone who pole-vaults without a pole.
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Why do University of
Arkansas graduates
tape their diplomas to the windshields of their cars?
So they can park
in handicapped spaces.
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Arkansas graduates
tape their diplomas to the windshields of their cars?
So they can park
in handicapped spaces.
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|Q: What do you get if you cross a woodpecker with a carrier pigeon?A: A bird who knocks before delivering its message!Q: What do you call a very rude bird?A: A mockingbird!Q: Where do birds meet for coffee?A: In a nest-cafe!Q: How does a bird with a broken wing manage to land safely?A: With it's sparrowchute!Q: What is green and pecks on trees?A:
Category: Kids Jokes - 0 Comments
Category: Kids Jokes - 0 Comments
What is the difference between a single 40-year-old woman and asingle 40-year-old man?The 40-year-old woman thinks often of having children and the40-year-old man thinks often about dating them.
Category: Miscellaneous - 0 Comments
Category: Miscellaneous - 0 Comments
|Seems a guy was driving for hours thu desolate country when he passed a farmhouse, and before he could react, a cat ran out in front of him and*splat*... he flattened the cat. Out of kindness and consideration, he stopped, turned around and drove back to the farmhouse to notify the occupants.
Category: Farming Jokes - 0 Comments
Category: Farming Jokes - 0 Comments


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