Dropped your wallet

How do you know when an
accountant's on
holidays?
He doesn't wear a tie to work and comes in after 8.30.
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A mother took her daughter to the doctor and asked him to give her an examination to determine the cause of the daughter's swollen abdomen.
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My problem is that I
keep stealing
things when I go Christmas shopping. Can you give me
something for
it!
Doctor: Try this medicine...and if it doesn't work come back and
bring
me a new video camera.
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It was the first day of school in Marietta, Georgia, and a new student named Suzuki, the son of a Japanese businessman, entered the fourth grade.The teacher said, "Let's begin by reviewing some American history. Who said 'Give me Liberty, or give me Death?'"She saw a sea of blank faces, except for Suzuki, who had his hand up.
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Which burger is famous for a long
nose?
Cyrano de Burgerac!
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An elderly patient needed a heart transplant and discussed his options with his doctor. The doctor said, "We have 3 possible donors; the 1st is a young, healthy athlete who died in an automobile accident, the 2nd is a middle-aged businessman who never drank or smoked and who died flying his private jet.
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Eddie's father called up to him, 'Eddie, if
you don't stop playing
that trumpet I think I'll go
crazy!'
Eddy replied, 'I think you are already, I stopped playing half an hour

ago.'
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Q: Why is Clinton prone to losing his
voice?
A: He keeps having to eat his words.
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|The Los Angeles Police Department (LAPD), The FBI, and the CIA are all trying to prove that they are the best at apprehending criminals. The President decides to give them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest and each of them has to catch it.The CIA goes in. They place animal informants throughout the forest.
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What snakes are good at sums ?
Adders !
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