During the Vietnam war...

A family of three tomatoes were walking downtown

one day when the little baby tomato started lagging behind. The big

father tomato walks back to the baby tomato, stomps on her,
squashing her
into a red paste, and says, "Ketchup!"
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Men are like animals:
messy, insensitive
and
potentially violent, but they make great pets.
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Q: What are the blonde's first words after 4

years of college?
A: "Would you like fries with that?"
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Teacher: What is Ba + Na2?
Pupil:
Banana.
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A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and one night he's doing a show in a small club in a small town in Arkansas. With his dummy on his knee, he's going through his usual dumb blonde jokes when a blonde woman in the fourth row stands on her chair and starts shouting: "I've heard enough of your stupid blonde jokes.
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How many maintenance programmers does it take

to change a light bulb?
None. They try to fix the old
one.
"We looked at the light fixture and decided there's no point trying

to maintain it. We're going to rewrite it from scratch. Could you wait

two months?"
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Have you seen www.topsecret.com?
If I
have, I'm not going to tell you.
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Someone -- always a man -- always

asks, "does the
ship run on generators?" The Cruise Director
usually
tells them, "No, we just have a very long power line
running
to the mainland."
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How did the aliens hurt the farmer?
They
trod on his corn.
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Q.How can you tell when a Chicago Fireman
is dead?
A. The remote control slips from his hand.
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