Elephants and Cell-Phones

Cold Hands There's an Ahmish girl riding in a buggy with her mother, and she say's "my hands are really cold, how can I warm them up?" Her mother say's "Put them between your legs, that will warm them up." So she does, and her mother was right.
Category: Ethnic - 0 Comments

Monster: Stick 'em down.
Ghost: Don't
you mean, stick 'em up.
Monster: No wonder I'm not making much
money in this business.
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Young Amanpreet never quite got over his miserable childhood as an orphan in the ghetto. When he turned 18 hejoined the Marines, but old habits die hard and one night thesergeant found him rummaging around the garbage and eatingout of the discarded cans and jars."On your free, Lizard Pecker," he bellowed.
Category: War - 0 Comments

A neighbor of
mine was bit by a stray rabid
dog. I went to see how he was and found him
writing furiously. I told
him rabies could be cured and he didn't have
to worry about a
will. He said, "Will, what will? I'm making a list
of people I'm
gonna bite."
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Q. How did the blonde die

ice-fishing?
A. She was run over by the zambonis machine.
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All booster, no payload. All crown, no filling. All foam, no beer. All hammer, no nail. All hat and no cattle. All he remembers about his middle name is the first letter. All his eggs in the same basket. All his learning curves look like Mount Everest. All icing, no cake. All lime and salt, no tequila. All missile, no warhead.
Category: Miscellaneous - 0 Comments

At the airport for a business trip, I settled

down to wait for the boarding announcement at Gate 35. Then I heard
the
voice on the public address system saying, "We apologize for
the
inconvenience, but Delta Flight 570 will board from Gate
41."

So my family picked up our luggage and carried it over to Gate 41.
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What do you get if you cross an eel
with a
shopper?
A slippery customer.
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He said - Since I first laid eyes on you, I've wanted to make love to you really badly.She said - Well, you succeeded.
Category: Relationships - 0 Comments

What did the lions say to his cubs when

he taught them to hunt ?
'Don't go over the road till you see
the zebra crossing.'
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