Elephants and Cell-Phones

A fireman is at the station house working outside on the fire truck when he notices a little girl next door. The little girl is in a little red wagon with little ladders hung off the side. She is wearing a fireman's hat and has the wagon tied to a dog. The fireman says "Hey little girl.
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What do a
hurricane, a tornado, a fire and
a divorce have in common?

They are four ways you can lose your
house!
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What do you call 500
Natives running on the
race track?

The Indy 500.
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Confucious say:Man who go to bed with itchy ass, wake up with smelly finger.
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What do you get when you put a car and a

pet together ?
Carpet !
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Q: What do you call a blonde with a dollar on the top of theirhead?A: All you can eat, under a buck.
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The wife coyly tried to explain her purchase of a new pair of expensive imported panties. "After all, dear," she said to her husband, "you wouldn't expect to find fine perfume in a cheap bottle, would you?""No," her husband replied."Nor would I expect to find gift wrapping on a dead beaver."
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Why did the boy take the ruler to
bed?
He
wanted to see how long he slept.
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Martin had just received his brand new drivers
license. The family troops
out to the driveway, and climbs in the
car, where he is going to take
them for a ride for the first time.
Dad immediately heads for the back
seat, directly behind the newly
minted driver.
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Q: What is the best time to wean the baby from nursing?A: When you see teeth marks.
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