Elephants II

Doctor, Doctor I think I'm a
bell?
Take these and if it doesn't help give me a ring!
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Why didn't Helen Keller ever change her baby?She could find it!
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"Will I ever be able to race my
horse again" the owner asked the vet.
The vet replied, "You certainly
will, and you'll probably beat her
too!"
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Tom is applying for a job as a signalman for the local railroad, and is told to meet the inspector at the signal box.The inspector decides to give Tom a pop quiz, asking, "What would you do if you realized that two trains were heading towards each other on the same track?" Tom says, "I would switch one train to another track.
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Q: What's the difference between a dog barking on the front porch and a woman hollering on the back porch?A: If you let them both inside, the dog will stop barking.
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First monster: I
have a hunch.
Second
monster: I thought you were a funny shape.
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Q: Did you hear about the Polish guy that locked his keys in his car?A: Took him an hour using a coat hanger to get his family out.Q: Why do Polish dogs have flat noses?A: From chasing parked cars.Q: What did the Polish mother say when her daughter said she was pregnant?A: "Are you sure it's yours?"Q: You go to a cockfight.
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I heard a story of a woman going into a bank with her son who was about 5 or6. He was being a brat and his mother was having a hard time controlling him. When she finally got to the teller, she sat the boy on the counter and said, "Now you be a good boy or I'll tell Gramma how you were acting and she won't give you anymore cookies.
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One day, Grandma sent her grandson Johnny down to the water hole to get some water for cooking dinner. As he was dipping the bucket in, he saw two big eyes looking back at him. He dropped the bucket and hightailed it for Grandma's kitchen."Where's my bucket and where's my water?" Grandma asked him.
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Camper: There's a leak over my
bunk!
Counselor: Don't complain. It only leaks when it rains.
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