Ethnic jokes

A man is in a hotel lobby. He wants to ask the clerk a question.As he turns to go to the front desk, he accidentally bumps into a womanbeside him and as he does, his elbow goes into her breast. Theyare both quite startled.The man turns to her and says, "Ma'am, if your heart is as soft asyour breast, I know you'll forgive me.
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A well known rich businessman's wife broke her hip. The businessman got the best bone surgeon in town to do the operation. The operation consisted of lining up the broken hip and putting in a screw to secure it. The operation went fine, and the doctor sent the business man a fee for his services of $5000.
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Teacher: Didn't you hear me call

you?
Pupil: But you said not to answer you back!
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A golfer, playing a round by himself, is about
to tee
off, and a greasy little salesman runs up to him, and yells,
"Wait!
Before you tee off, I have something really amazing to show
you!"

The golfer, annoyed, says, "What is it?"

"It's a
special golf ball," says the salesman.
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What happened when a ghost asked for a brandy at
his
local pub?
The landlord said "Sorry, we don't serve
spirits."
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Customer: "Why didn't you tell me I have

call waiting?"
Tech Support: "Sir, we have no way of knowing if you
have call
waiting."
Customer: "Well, you should ask everybody!"

Tech Support: "Do you have call waiting?"
Customer: "What's
that?"
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Bill Gates dies in a car accident. He finds himself in purgatory, being sized up by God... "Well, Bill, I'm really confused on this call; I'm not sure whether to send you to Heaven or Hell. After all, you enormously helped society by putting a computer in almost every home in America, yet you also created that ghastly Windows '95.
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How many ducks would there be,
if you saw two
ducks in front of two ducks, two ducks between two
ducks, and two
ducks behind two ducks?

Answer: 4 ducks-because they are in a
row.
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Q: What is the definition of gross
ignorance?
A: 144 blondes.
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Who loves
hamburgers, French fries, and
ants?
Ronald MacAardvark!
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