Food jokes

Did you hear about the blonde who stayed up all

night to see where the sun went? It finally dawned on her!
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|On my way home from the second job I've taken for the extra holiday cash I need, I stopped at Taco Bell for a quick bite to eat. In my wallet is a $50 bill and a $2 bill. That is all of the cash I have on my person. I figure that with a $2 bill, I can get something to eat and not have to worry about people getting upset with me.
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Skinny people irritate me! Especially when they say things like, "You know sometimes I just forget to eat." Now I've forgotten my address, my mother's maiden name, and my keys. But I've never forgotten to eat. You have to be a special kind of idiot to forget to eat!A friend of mine confused her valium with her birth control pills.
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Teacher: Give me three reasons
why the
world is round
Pupil: Well my dad says so, my mum says so and you say so
!
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Q: What's delaying the hillbilly space program?A: Development of a working match.
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What's brown and crispy on the outside, and white and creamy on the inside? A cockroach.
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Knock Knock Who's there? Agatha! Agatha who? Agatha headache.
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Why do they bury lawers 26 feet underground?Because deep down, they are really nice guys.
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LOVE AT 1st SIGHT - what occurs when two extremely horny, but not entirely choosy people meet. DATING - the process of spending enormous amounts of money, time, and energy to get better acquainted with a person whom you don't especially like in the present and will learn to like a lot less in the future.
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How do you get a one armed MAN out of a tree?Wave at him.
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