Food jokes

What's a man idea of helping with the
housework?
Lifting his legs so you can vacuum.
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A ragged individual stranded for several months

on a small desert island in the middle of the Pacific Ocean one day

noticed a bottle lying in the sand with a piece of paper in it.
Rushing to
the bottle, he pulled out the cork and with shaking hands
withdrew the
message.
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Did you hear the one about the blonde who

thought that "love handles" referred to her ears?
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The local sheriff was looking
for a deputy,
so Gomer - who was not exactly the sharpest nail in the
bucket went
in to try out for the job.

"Okay," the sheriff drawled, "Gomer,
what is 1 and 1?"

"11" he replied.

The sheriff thought to
himself, "That's not what I meant, but he's
right.
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1. Anything we said six or eight months ago is inadmissible in an argument. All comments become null and void after seven days. 2. If you don't want to dress like Victoria's Secret, girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys. 3.
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In a small Southern town there was a nativity scene that indicated great skill and talent in its creation. One small feature bothered me though. The three wise men were wearing firemen's helmets. Totally unable to come up with a reason or explanation, I left.
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Bubba got drunk and died in a fire in his trailer. He was so badly burned that the morgue needed someone to identify the body, so they called his two buddies Jim-Bob and Billy-Joe to I.D. him. Jim-Bob went in and the mortician pulled back the sheet. "Yep, he's got burned up purdy bad. Roll 'im over," said Jim-Bob.
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Q. "Why does the Navy put
Marines on
board ships?"
A. "Because sheep would be too obvious"
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Q: What is a four-letter
word that ends in
'k' and means the same as intercourse? A: Talk
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Mr. Johnson, a businessman from Wisconsin, went on a business trip toLouisiana. He immediately sent an e-mail back home to his wife, Jennifer (JenJohnson@AOL.com).Unfor tunately, he forgot his wife's exact email address and the e-mail ended up going to a Mrs. Joan Johnson (JJohnson@AOL.
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