
Food one-liners
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|The snack bar next door to an atom smasher was called "The Fission Chips."On April Fools Day, a mother put a fire cracker under the pancakes. She blew her stack.A new chef from India was fired a week after starting the job. He keep favoring curry.A couple of kids tried using pickles for a Ping-Pong game. They had the volley of the Dills.The four food groups: Fast, Frozen, Instant, and Chocolate.A friend got some vinegar in his ear, now he suffers from pickled hearing.Overweight is something that just sort of snacks up on you.Sign in restaurant window: "Eat now - Pay waiter."I thought you were trying to get into shape?I am. The shape I've selected is a triangle.
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Customer: Why is this
sandwich half eaten?
Waiter: I didn't have time to finish it.
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sandwich half eaten?
Waiter: I didn't have time to finish it.
Category: More Jokes - 0 Comments
|1. Sickness: No excuses will be acceptable. We will no longer accept the Medical Officer's statement as proof of illness as we believe that if you are able to go on sick parade, you are able to come to work. 2. Leave of Absence for an Operation: We are no longer allowing this practice.
Category: Military Jokes - 0 Comments
Category: Military Jokes - 0 Comments
|A man is in a bar and falling off his stool every couple of minutes. He is obviously drunk. So the bartender says to another man in the bar: "Why don't you be a good Samaritan and take him home."The man takes the drunk out the door and to his car and he stumbles at least ten times. They drive along and the drunk points out his house to the man.
Category: Bar Jokes - 0 Comments
Category: Bar Jokes - 0 Comments
|A friend got married and I, being the best man, decided a humorous practical joke was in order. One of the duties of the best man is to make arrangements for the pick up and return of the groom's tuxedo.After final fitting, rent an extra coat jacket that is either three or four sizes smaller or larger than the groom's.
Category: Marriage Jokes - 0 Comments
Category: Marriage Jokes - 0 Comments
Why did the dentist
make a poor date with
the manicurist?
Because they fought both tooth and nail!
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make a poor date with
the manicurist?
Because they fought both tooth and nail!
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An Irishman who had a little to drink is driving home from the city one night and, of course, his car is weaving violently all over the road. A cop pulls him over..."So," says the cop to the driver, "where have you been?""Why, I've been to the pub of course" slurs the drunk.
Category: Miscellaneous - 0 Comments
Category: Miscellaneous - 0 Comments
A newsboy was standing on the corner with a
stack of
papers, yelling, "Read all about it. Fifty people
swindled! Fifty people
swindled!"
Curious, a man walked over, bought
a paper, and checked the front page.
Finding nothing, the man said,
"There's nothing in here about fifty
people being
swindled.
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stack of
papers, yelling, "Read all about it. Fifty people
swindled! Fifty people
swindled!"
Curious, a man walked over, bought
a paper, and checked the front page.
Finding nothing, the man said,
"There's nothing in here about fifty
people being
swindled.
Category: More Jokes - 0 Comments
Knock Knock Who's there? Aries! Aries who? Aries a reason why I talk this way! Knock Knock Who's there? Arizona! Arizona who? Arizona room for one of us in this town! Knock Knock Who's there? Anka! Anka who? Anka the ship! Knock Knock Who's there? Ankansas! Ankansas who? Ankansas though any piece of wood! Knock Knock Who's there? Amory! Amory who?
Category: Miscellaneous - 0 Comments
Category: Miscellaneous - 0 Comments


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