Ford Jokes

What do you call a show full
of
lions ?
The mane event !
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Waiter, there
is a frog in my soup
!
Don't worry sir there isn't enough there to drown him !
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A guy noticed that his buddy was troubled and

asked what was wrong.
"Ohhh, it's my girlfriend."
"What's the
problem?"
"When I asked her if she could learn to love me, she asked
me how much
I was willing to spend on her education."
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At the card shop: A woman was spending a long time looking at the cards, finally shaking her head, "No." A clerk came over and asked, "May I help you?" "I don't know," said the woman. "Do you have any 'Sorry I laughed at your dick' cards?"
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What do you call a parrot when it has dried
itself
after a bath?
Polly unsaturated!
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A man
and his wife were making their first
doctor visit, the wife being
pregnant with their first
child.

After everything checked out, the doctor took a small stamp and
stamped
the wife's stomach with indelible ink.
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During training exercises, the lieutenant who
was
driving down a muddy back road encountered another car stuck in
the mud
with a red-faced colonel at the wheel. "Your jeep stuck,
sir?" asked
the lieutenant as he pulled alongside "Nope," replied the
colonel,
coming over and handing him the keys "Yours is."
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On their honeymoon night, the burly groom took off his pants and asked his bride to put them on. The waist alone was twice her body. She said, "I can't wear your pants." "That's right," intoned the groom, "And don't you forget it. I'm the one who wears the pants in the family.
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Diary of a New Snow ShovelerDecenber 8th 6:00 PM It started to snow. The first snow of the season and the wife and I took our cocktails and sat for hours by the window watching the huge soft flakes drift down from heaven. It looked like a Grandma Moses print. So romantic we felt like newlyweds again.
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At the height of a political corruption trial, the prosecuting attorney attacked a witness. "Isn't it true," he bellowed, "that you accepted five thousand dollars to compromise this case?" The witness stared out the window, as though he hadn't hear the question.
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