Funny jokes - 50 best jokes

A tourist in Vienna is going through a graveyard and all of a sudden he hears some music. No one is around, so he starts searching for the source.He finally locates the origin and finds it is coming from a grave with a headstone that reads: Ludwig van Beethoven, 1770-1827.
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How can you tell elephants love to
travel ?
They are always packing their trunk !
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What do you call a parrot when it has dried
itself
after a bath?
Polly unsaturated!
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A young accountant spends a week at his new

office with the retiring accountant he is replacing.
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A Scottish private walks into the pharmacy near his bases, pulls abeat-up, mutilated condom out of his pocket, and asks the pharmacist howmuch it would cost to repair the condom. The pharmacist replied that including replacing the band and spotwelding the holes, it would cost 26 pence, but that for 29 pence, hecould sell the private a new one.
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Martin had just received his brand new drivers
license. The family troops
out to the driveway, and climbs in the
car, where he is going to take
them for a ride for the first time.
Dad immediately heads for the back
seat, directly behind the newly
minted driver.
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1...Silence, the final frontier - Where no woman has gone before.2...The undiscovered side of Banking - How to make deposits.3...Combatting the Imelda Marcos Syndrome - You don't need new shoes everyday.4...Learn how not to inflict your Diets on other people.5...Nag Nag Nag - how to overcome your tendency to be a fish wife.6...
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Q: What does a screen door and a blonde have in common? A: The more you bang it the looser it gets!
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How can you tell if a blonde has been using a computer?The joystick is wet and theres white out on the screen!
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Two Polish guys were taking their first train

trip to Warsaw on the train. A vendor came down the corridor selling

bananas which they'd never seen before. Each bought
one.

The first one eagerly peeled the banana and bit into it just as the

train went into a tunnel.
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