
Getting old when
|
|You know you're getting older when...Everything that works hurts, and what doesn't hurt doesn't work. You feel like the morning after, and you haven't been anywhere. Your little black book only contains names ending in M.D. Your children are beginning to look middle-aged. Your mind makes contracts your body can't keep. You look forward to a dull evening. Your knees buckle and your belt won't. Your back goes out more than you do. You sink your teeth into a steak, and they stay there. You know all the answers, but nobody asks the questions.
|
Rate Joke

Add Comment

Featured Jokes
The next door neighbor of a middle-aged wife came over to inform her that her retired husband was chasing around after young prostitutes.The woman smiled, "So what?"The neighbor was surprised, "It doesn't bother you that he's running around with those women?"The woman replied, "I also have a little dog who chases cars and buses, too."
Category: Miscellaneous - 0 Comments
Category: Miscellaneous - 0 Comments
My wife and I were watching some TV show the other nite where the wife hired a private detective to follow her husband and see if he were in fact "cheating" on her. I asked my wife if she would ever do that. She said, "Well not so much to find out who the other woman was, but to see if I could find out what she saw in ya."
Category: Relationships - 0 Comments
Category: Relationships - 0 Comments
Edney and Cole, two Ohio Edison
electrical repairmen, were
working on a blown house circuit.
"Hey,
Cole!" said Edney. "See those two wires?"
"Sure," Cole
answered.
"Now just grab one of them."
Cole grabbed one of the
wires.
"Feel anything?" asked his partner.
"Not a
thing," answered Cole.
"Good!" said Edney.
Category: More Jokes - 0 Comments
electrical repairmen, were
working on a blown house circuit.
"Hey,
Cole!" said Edney. "See those two wires?"
"Sure," Cole
answered.
"Now just grab one of them."
Cole grabbed one of the
wires.
"Feel anything?" asked his partner.
"Not a
thing," answered Cole.
"Good!" said Edney.
Category: More Jokes - 0 Comments
|Hennessy wasn't a very good looking fellow to start with. Now his business had failed, and his wife and family had left him. Depressed and distracted, he was standing near the edge of the bridge, contemplating suicide. Suddenly, he sensed that someone was behind him, and turning around he saw an ugly little old leprechaun.
Category: Irish Jokes - 0 Comments
Category: Irish Jokes - 0 Comments
Question: How many psychiatrists does it take to change a lightbulb?Answer: Just one ... but the lightbulb has to REALLY want to change!
Category: Miscellaneous - 0 Comments
Category: Miscellaneous - 0 Comments
An Englishman, a Scotsman, and an Irishman are
wandering through the desert, hungry and hallucinating, when they
come
upon a rotting, dead camel.
"Well," said the
Englishman, "I support the Liverpool football club,
so I'll eat the liver."
"I support the Hearts club," said the Scotsman, "so I'll eat
the
heart.
Category: More Jokes - 0 Comments
wandering through the desert, hungry and hallucinating, when they
come
upon a rotting, dead camel.
"Well," said the
Englishman, "I support the Liverpool football club,
so I'll eat the liver."
"I support the Hearts club," said the Scotsman, "so I'll eat
the
heart.
Category: More Jokes - 0 Comments
Q: Why couldn't the
blonde add 10 and 7 on
a calulator?
A: She couldn't find the 10 key.
Category: More Jokes - 0 Comments
blonde add 10 and 7 on
a calulator?
A: She couldn't find the 10 key.
Category: More Jokes - 0 Comments
The local District Judge had
given the defendant a lecture on the evils
of drink. But in view of
the fact that this was the first time the man
had been drunk and
incapable, the case was dismissed on payment of ten
shillings costs.
Category: More Jokes - 0 Comments
given the defendant a lecture on the evils
of drink. But in view of
the fact that this was the first time the man
had been drunk and
incapable, the case was dismissed on payment of ten
shillings costs.
Category: More Jokes - 0 Comments
A guy goes into a costume shop. He says,
"I'm going to a
costume party, I want to go as Adam." The girl brings
out
a fig leaf. He says, "Not big enough."
She brings out a
bigger one. He says, "Still not big enough."
She brings out a huge
fig leaf. He says, "Still not big enough.
Category: More Jokes - 0 Comments
"I'm going to a
costume party, I want to go as Adam." The girl brings
out
a fig leaf. He says, "Not big enough."
She brings out a
bigger one. He says, "Still not big enough."
She brings out a huge
fig leaf. He says, "Still not big enough.
Category: More Jokes - 0 Comments
A new American ambassador was being entertained by an African diplomat.They'd spent the day discussing what the country had received from theRussians before the new government kicked them out. "The Russians builtus a power plant, a highway, and an airport. Plus, we learned to drinkvodka and play Russian roulette."The American frowned.
Category: Situations - 0 Comments
Category: Situations - 0 Comments


Common Menu

Joke Categories

Language
-
Jokes Search »
Browse Jokes »
Getting old when
All times are GMT. The time now is 07:46.

