Give Them a Shock

Why didn't the dog speak to his foot ?
Because
it's not polite to talk back to your paw !
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A guy's driving down a country road when he comes upon a sign saying "Apples - $5.00 each." He thinks that that is a lot of money so he decides to go see what's up.He goes up to the farmer and says, "Hey, how come these apples are 5 bucks each?" The farmer replies, "They are peanut butter and jelly apples.
Category: Miscellaneous - 0 Comments

|This is the transcript of an actual radio conversation of a US naval ship with Canadian authorities off the coast of Newfoundland in October, 1995.Radio conversation released by the Chief of Naval Operations on November 10, 1995. Americans: Please divert your course 15 degrees to the North to avoid a collision.
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A young woman stops into her local pharmacy to pick a supply of tampons for herself. She goes to the aisle where they are located and sees they are priced at five boxes for one dollar. Thinking this is a misprint; she finds a clerk and asks if this can possibly be the correct price. The clerk replies, "Yes it is the correct price.
Category: Situations - 0 Comments

A man named Mr. Smith was
flying from San
Francisco to LA.
Unexpectedly the plane stopped in Sacramento along
the way. The flight
attendant explained that there would be a
delay, and if the passengers
wanted to get off the aircraft, the plane
would re-board in 30 minutes.
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Four major executives from various countries are playing golf together. On the second tee they hear a phone ring.The Canadian executive reaches into his bag and pulls out a cellular phone. "O.K. buy 100 shares," the Canadian tells the other person on the phone.
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A bartender was washing glasses one afternoon when an elderly Irishman came in. With great difficulty, the Irishman hoisted his bad leg over the barstool, pulled himself up painfully, and asked for a sip of Irish whiskey.
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The following are actual statements found in insurance forms where drivers attempted to summarize the details of an accident in the fewest words.Coming home, I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don't have.I thought my window was down, but I found out it was up when I put my head through it.
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The truck driver stopped to picked up the girl hitchhiker in short shorts."Say, what's your name, mister?" she inquired, after she climbed up in the truck."It's Snow, Roy Snow," he answered, "and what's yours?""I'm June, June Hansen," she said.
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Knock Knock
Who's there ?
Cigarette
!
Cigarette who ?
Cigarette life if you don't weaken !
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