
Great to be a woman
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|Reason's why it's great to be a woman Free drinks. Free dinners. Free movies. Speeding ticket? What's that? New lipstick gives you a whole new lease on life. If you have to be home in time for Melrose Place, you can say so, out loud. If you're not making enough money you can blame the glass ceiling. You can sleep your way to the top. You can sue the President for sexual harassment. It's possible to live your whole life without ever taking a group shower. No fashion faux pas you make could rival The Speedo. Brad Pitt. No one passes out when you take off your shoes. Excitement is only as far away as the nearest beauty-supply store. If you forget to shave, no one has to know. If you're dumb, some people will find it cute. You have the ability to dress yourself. If you marry someone twenty years younger, you're aware that you look like an idiot.You'll never have to punch a hole through anything with your fist. You can quickly end any fight by crying. Your friends won't think you're weird if you ask whether there's spinach in your teeth. There are times when chocolate really Can solve all your problems. You've never had a goatee. You'll never regret piercing your ears. You can fully assess a person just by looking at their shoes. You know which glass was yours by the lipstick mark. You get to hate Kathie Lee in the way only another woman truly can.
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A blonde got lost in her car in a snow
storm. She remembered what her dad had once told her. "If you ever get
stuck in a snow storm, wait for a snow plow and follow it." Pretty
soon a snow plow came by, and she started to follow it. She followed
the
plow for about forty-five minutes.
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storm. She remembered what her dad had once told her. "If you ever get
stuck in a snow storm, wait for a snow plow and follow it." Pretty
soon a snow plow came by, and she started to follow it. She followed
the
plow for about forty-five minutes.
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What did the neurotic pig say to the
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You take me for grunted.
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farmer?
You take me for grunted.
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A hindu priest, rabbi and a lawyer were driving
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informed them that he had only one spare
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twin beds.
They were welcome
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down the road, when
the car breaks down. Fortunately finding a
farmhouse nearby, the farmer
informed them that he had only one spare
room, and that it had only two
twin beds.
They were welcome
to it, but one of them had to sleep in the barn.
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Two men are in a bar are boasting about their prowess and one of them says, "My cock is longer than that cat's tail."A bet is made, the bartender supplies a ruler, and the cat is roused and measured.But when the bartender begins the second measurement, the stud says, "Just a moment! Where did you measure that cat's tail from?""From the asshole.
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The chief of staff of the US Air
Force
decided that he would personally intervene in the recruiting
crisis
affecting all of our armed services. He directed a nearby Air Force
base that will be opened and that all eligible young men and women be
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Force
decided that he would personally intervene in the recruiting
crisis
affecting all of our armed services. He directed a nearby Air Force
base that will be opened and that all eligible young men and women be
invited.
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1st Roman Soldier: What is the time ?
2nd
Roman Soldier: XX past VII !
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2nd
Roman Soldier: XX past VII !
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Grandma: You've left all your
crusts,
Mary. When I was your age I ate every one.
Mary: Do you still like
crusts, Grandma?
Grandma: Yes, I do.
Mary: Well, you can have
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crusts,
Mary. When I was your age I ate every one.
Mary: Do you still like
crusts, Grandma?
Grandma: Yes, I do.
Mary: Well, you can have
mine.
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A man goes to the doctor with a long history of migraine headaches.When the doctor does his history and physical, he discovers that hispoor patient has had practically every therapy known to man for hismigraines and STILL no improvement.
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Category: ROOT - 0 Comments


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