He\'s Shaky

Q: How
many retarded Italian gardeners does
it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: One, but don't expect
results.
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|Scorcher Murphy was selling his house, and put the matter in an agent's hands. The agent wrote up a sales blurb for the house that made wonderful reading. After Murphy read it, he turned to the agent and asked, "Have I got all ye say there?" The agent said, "Certainly ye have...Why d'ye ask?" Replied Murphy, "Cancel the sale...
Category: Irish Jokes - 0 Comments

Two nuns go to a restaurant to have dinner. They notice RockyMountain Oysters on the menu and wondered what that was.They ask the waiter who replies "Oh Sister, those are nuts." She answers "Do you mean like the kind you crack with a rock?""No. The kind you rock on a crack."
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|I've sure gotten old. I've had two By-pass surgeries. A hip replacement, new knees. Fought prostate cancer, and diabetes. I'm half blind, can't hear anything quieter than a jet engine, take 40 different medications that make me dizzy, winded, and subject to blackouts. Have bouts with dementia.
Category: Elderly Jokes - 0 Comments

Mrs. Grednik, who was a little on the chubby side, was at her weight-watchers meeting ."My husband insists I come to these meetings because he would rather screw a woman with a trim figure." she lamented to the woman next to her."Well," the lady replied, "what's wrong with that?""He likes to do it while I'm stuck at these damn meetings."
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If a four-legged animal is a quadruped
and a two-legged
animal is a biped, What's a tiger ?
A
stri-ped !
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How do you get a Texas Tech senior's eyes to
sparkle?
Shine a flashlight in his ears.
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Q: Where does Napolean keep his armies?
A:
In his sleevies!
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|An application was for employmentA program was a TV showA cursor used profanityA keyboard was a piano!Memory was something that you lost with ageA CD was a bank account!And if you had a broken disk,It would hurt when you found out!Compress was something you did to garbage Not something you did to a fileAnd if you unzipped anything in public You'd
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3 pregnant women were waiting in the doctor's waiting room for an antenatalcheck-up and were all knitting garments for there respective babies.Suddnely the first expectant mother stops knitting, checks her watch, pulls a bottle of pills from her handbag and takes one..."What was that?", the other two ask, curiously."Calcium tablet.
Category: Women - 0 Comments