How many men?

What do you call a blonde with half a brain?

Gifted!
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"You know an ancestor of mine came over on the

Mayflower." "Really? Which rat was he?"
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A cat and a mouse died on the same

day and went up to Heaven. At the top they met God and he asked them

'How do you like it so far?'

The mouse replied 'It's
great, but can I get a pair of roller
skates?' God said 'Sure', and
he gave him a pair of roller skates.
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A local policeman had just finished his shift
one
cold November evening and was at home with his wife.
You
just won't believe what happened this evening , in all my years on

the force I've never seen anything like it.
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|A man went to a brain store to get some brain to complete a study. He sees a sign remarking on the quality of professional brain offerred at this particular brain store. He begins to question the butcher about the cost of these brains."How much does it cost for engineer brain?""Three dollars an ounce.
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Father Murphy walks into a pub in Donegal, and says to the first man he meets, ?Do you want to go to heaven??The man said, ?I do Father.? The priest said, ?Then stand over there against the wall.?Then the priest asked the second man, ?Do you want to go to heaven?? ?Certainly, Father,? was the man?s reply.
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Maria is a devout Catholic. She gets married and has 17 children. Then herhusband dies. She remarries two weeks later, and has 22 children by hernext husband. Then he dies. A while later, she dies.At the funeral, the priest looks skyward and says, "At least they'refinally together.
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The local District Judge had
given the defendant a lecture on the evils
of drink. But in view of
the fact that this was the first time the man
had been drunk and
incapable, the case was dismissed on payment of ten
shillings costs.
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Q. Why don't witches like to ride their brooms when they're angry?A. They're afraid of flying off the handle!Q. Where do baby ghosts go during the day?A. Dayscare centers.Q. Who did Frankenstein take to the prom?A. His ghoul friend.Q. What do ghosts serve for dessert?A. I Scream.Q. What do witches put on their hair?A. Scare spray.Q.
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What's the
hardest part of making monster
soup?
Stirring it.
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