Humor jokes

The Mafia was looking for a new man to make

weekly collections from all the private businesses that they were

'protecting.' Feeling the heat from the police force, they decide
to use a
deaf person for this job, figuring if he were to get
caught, he
wouldn't be able to communicate to the police what he was
doing.
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Out in Kansas, tornadoes often hit with

sudden devastation, and without warning. In one case, a house was

completely whisked away, leaving only the foundation and first floor. A

silver-haired farm lady was seen sitting dazed, in a bathtub, the
only
remaining part of the house left above the floor.
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|A Brooklyn lawyer, a used car salesman and a banker were gathered by a coffin containing the body of an old friend. In his grief, one of the three said, "In my family, we have a custom of giving the dead some money, so they?ll have something to spend over there."They all agreed that this was appropriate.
Category: Lawyer Jokes - 0 Comments

|After a particularly poor game of golf, a popular club member skipped the clubhouse and started to go home. As he was walking to the parking lot to get his car, a policeman stopped him and asked, "Did you tee off on the sixteenth hole about twenty minutes ago?" "Yes," the golfer responded.
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Definitions of A Diplomat:Always knows what to talk about, but doesn't always talk about what he knows.Always tries to settle problems created by other diplomats.Can always make himself misunderstood.Can bring home the bacon without spilling the beans.Can convince his wife not to hide her nice body under a floor-length sable.
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Q:
How many bass players does it take to
change a light bulb?
A: Only one - but the guitarist has to show him
first.
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A man left work one Friday afternoon. But, it being payday, instead of going home, he stayed out the entire weekend partying with the boys and spending his entire week's wages.When he finally appeared at home on Sunday night he was confronted by a very angry wife and was barraged for nearly two hours with a tirade befitting his actions.
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An older Jewish gentleman marries a younger lady and they are very much in love. However, no matter what the husband does sexually, the woman never achieves orgasm. Since a Jewish wife is entitled to sexual pleasure, they decide to ask the rabbi. The rabbi listens to their story, strokes his beard, and makes the following suggestion.
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A husband and his wife advertised for a live-in maid to cook and do the housework. A likely-looking girl came in from the country, and they hired her. She worked out fine, was a good cook, was polite, and kept the house neat.One day, after about six months, she came in and said she would have to quit. "But why?" asked the disappointed wife.
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Why does the Philippines ban rectal
thermometers?
They cause too much brain damage.
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