Humor jokes

Q: What's the definition of a gentleman?
A:
One who knows how to play the saxophone, but doesn't!
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How can you tell a Minnesota hockey fan?

Ask him what color the blue line is and wait. It may take him ten

minutes to answer.
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Proctologists Of all the professions we fear, one stands out. No, it's not "mortician;" by then it's too late. This is a word that makes a certain part of our anatomy pucker in anticipation. Yes, the word is "proctologist;" the dreaded p-word! The mere mention of the word strikes terror deep inside most of us.
Category: Medicine - 0 Comments

One day, there was a plane that crashed. On it, was Bill Clinton, and an EXTREMELY religious guy who's only wish was to meet the Virgin Mary.The plane crashed and Bill and Phil both died. Heaven and Hell got all mixed up that day, so the religious guy went to Hell, and Bill went to heaven--temporarily for 20 minutes.
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A woman telephoned her local newspaper to

let them know that she had just given birth to eighteen children.
The
reporter didn't quite hear the message and said, "Would you
repeat
that?"
"Not if I can help it," replied the woman.
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Why does Bill Clinton wear
underwear?


To keep his ankles warm.
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A drunk gets
up from the bar and heads for
the bathroom. A few minutes
later,
a loud, blood curdling scream
is heard from the bathroom. A few minutes
after
that, another
loud scream reverberates through the bar. The bartender
goes
into
the bathroom to investigate why the drunk is screaming.
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Q: What is a conservative?
A: A liberal
who's been mugged.
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A
rather confident man
walks into a bar and takes a seat next to a very
attractive woman.
He gives her a quick glance, then casually looks at his
watch for a
moment.

The woman notices this and asks, "Is your date running
late?"

"No," he replies, "I just bought this state-of-the-art
watch and I
was just testing it.
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One day the zoo-keeper noticed that "Cheech" the orang-utang was reading two books -- the Bible and Darwin's Origin of Species.In surprise he asked the ape, "Why are you reading both those books"?"Well," said the orang-utang, "I just wanted to know if I was my brother'skeeper or my keeper's brother."
Category: Animal World - 0 Comments