Hunting with a wife

What advice to cows
give?
Turn the udder
cheek and mooooove on!
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A man was in court charged with

parking his car in a restricted area. The judge asked if he had anything

to say in his defense. "They shouldn't put up such misleading

notices," said the man. "It said FINE FOR PARKING HERE."
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What do you call a pen with no hair
?
A bald point !
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A man walked into a pub with an Ostrich and a Pussy Cat. He walked up the the bar and said "Beer for me, beer for the ostrich, whisky for the cat". They found a table, sat down and drank their drinks.Next it was the ostrichs round. He walked up to the bar and said "Beer for me, beer for the man, whisky for the cat".
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Q: Did you hear about the 4 Pollocks who froze to death in adrive-in movie???They went to see "Closed For the Winter"!
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The divorce court was attentive as the wealthy Yuppette complained to the Judge that her husband had left her bed and board. When she had finished, the husband's lawyer rose to his feet and coolly replied, "Your Honor, I have a slight correction in the typing of the charging documents. My client claims that he left her bed 'bored'."
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|OLD ACADEMICS never die, they just lose their faculties OLD ACCOUNTANTS never die, they just lose their balanceOLD ACCOUNTS never die, they are deletedOLD ACTORS never die, they just drop a partOLD ALCAHOLICS/DRUG ADDICTS never die, they just get wastedOLD ANTHROPOLOGISTS never die, they just become historyOLD ARCHERS never die, they just bow and
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|Redmond, WA -- Microsoft Corporation chair, CEO and all-around babe magnet Bill Gates announced yesterday the introduction of a new product for Windows 95: Microsoft Panhandling."The idea came to me the other day when a homeless man asked me for money," recalls Gates. "I suddenly realized that we were missing a golden opportunity.
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A suspicious husband hired a private eye to check on the movements of his wife. In addition to a written report, the husband wanted a video of his wife's activities. A week later, the detective returned with a film. They sat down together and proceeded to watch it.
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A Polak saw a priest walking down the street. Noticing his collar, he stopped him and said, "Excuse me, but why are you wearing your shirt backwards?"The priest laughed, "Because, my son, I am a Father!"The Polak scratched his head. "But I am a father too, and I don't wear my shirt backwards!"Again the priest laughed.
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