I'll have a Penguin; shaken, not stirred

What is easier to fill a dump truck up with.. dead babies or bowling balls?Dead babies.. because you can use a pitchfork.
Category: Miscellaneous - 0 Comments

What's brown and white and flies all
over?
Thanksgiving turkey, when you carve it with a chain saw!
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|Once there was a millionaire, who collected live alligators. He kept them in the pool in back of his mansion. The millionaire also had a beautiful daughter who was single. One day he decides to throw a huge party, and during the party he announces, "My dear guests . . . I have a proposition to every man here.
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|This hillbilly is traveling across Texas when a state policeman pulls him over."You got any I.D.?" the patrolman asked.""'Bout what?" the hillbilly replied.
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Q: What did the blonde's mom say to her before the blonde's date?A: If you're not in bed by 12, come home.
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A man walks into a bar and asks for six shots of vodka. The bartender says, "Six shots? What's wrong?" "I found out my older brother is gay," replied the man. The next night, he walked into the bar again and asked for six shots of vodka. "What now?" asked the bartender. "I found out my younger brother is gay," replied the man.
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|Food quotes, quips, and thoughts . . ."Artichokes ... are just plain annoying ... After all the trouble you go to, you get about as much actual 'food' out of eating an artichoke as you would rom licking thirty or forty postage stamps. Have the shrimp cocktail instead.
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What is It? Bush has a short one. Gorbachev has a long one. Maddona does not have one. And a priest does not use his. What is it? A Last name
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La Machine....vegetables...vv rrrrr...La Machine....fruits...vvrrrr r...La Machine....little children...No mommy, No!...vvrrrrr...La Machine.
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Mr. Schwatrz goes to meet his new son-in-law to be, Sol. He says to Sol (who is very religious),"So nu, tell me Sol, my boy, what do you do?"I study the Torah," he replies."But Sol, you are going to marry my daughter, how are going to feed and house her?""No problem," says Sol, "I study Torah and it says God will provide.
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