Idiot and fool jokes

Two condoms were walking past a Gay bar.One looks at the other and says..."You wanna go in and get shit faced?"
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Q: Why aren't there many blonde gymnasts?A: Because when they do the splits, they stick to the floor.
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Soak your gloves and store them in the freezer after every use. Fasten a small, wide rubber band around the top half of your head before you go to bed each night. If you wear glasses, begin wearing them with glue smeared on the lenses. Throw away a hundred dollar bill - now.
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Patron: Hey, there's a fly in my
soup!
Waiter: Why are you complaining? Isn't it cooked?
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International Travellers Bloopers1. On a French passenger jet: Live West Under Your Seat.2. In a Bucharest hotel lobby: The lift is being fixed for the next day. During that time we regret that you will be unbearable.3. In a Belgrade hotel elevator: Please leave your values at the front desk.4.
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One night, this guy come
into a
bar and asks the bartender for a drink. Then he asks for
another. After
a couple more drinks, the bartender gets
worried.

"What's the matter?" the bartender asks.

"My wife and I got into
a fight," explained the guy "and now she
isn't talking to me for a
whole 31 days.
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Q:
How many Taureans does it take to change
a lightbulb? A: None: Taureans
don't like to change anything.
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|McNally was taking his first plane ride, flying over the Rocky Mountains. The stewardess handed him a piece of chewing gum. "It's to keep your ears from popping at high altitudes," she explains. When the plane landed McNally rushed up to her. "Miss," he said, "I'm meetin' me wife right away. How do I get the gum out of me ears?"
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A - Adult: A person who has stopped growing at both ends and is now growing in the middle.B - BATHROOM: A room used by the entire family, believed by all except Mom to be self-cleaning.C - COMMITTEE: A body that keeps minutes and wastes hours.D - DATE: Infrequent outings with Dad where Mom can enjoy worrying about the kids in a different setting.
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"Mom, I'm pregnant.""How can that be? What did I tell you about sex?""That I should take measures. That's what I did! I took measures and then went with the biggest."
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