Idiot and fool jokes

During a recent publicity outing, Hillary sneaked off to visit a fortune teller of some local repute. In a dark and hazy room, peering into a crystal ball, the mystic delivered grave news."There's no easy way to say this, so I'll just be blunt: Prepare yourself to be a widow. Your husband will die a violent and horrible death this year.
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Q: What's the only thing worse than a

bagpiper?
A: Good question. We're still trying to find out too.
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"The auditors have just left,

sir."

"Did they check the books?"

"Very thoroughly."

"What
did they say?"

"They want 15% to keep quiet."
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|NO ZAMBODIANS, PLEASE: Judge Rules Out Prince Mongo's CostumeMEMPHIS, Tenn. - A judge has ruled that a defendant can't show up for trial wearing fur, bones, goggles and pale green body paint, even if he is from the planet Zambodia.
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My dog is a nuisance.
He chases everyone on
a bicycle.
What can I do?
Take his bike away.
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Q: What goes VROOM, SCREECH,VROOM,

SCREECH,VROOM, SCREECH?
A: A blonde going through a flashing red
light.
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Dave works hard at the plant and spends most evenings bowling or playing basketball at the gym. His wife thinks he is pushing himself too hard, so for his birthday she takes him to a local strip club.The doorman at the club greets them and says, "Hey, Dave, how ya doin?"His wife is puzzled and asks if he's been to this club before.
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Mom's Brownies Recipe...Remove teddy bear from oven and preheat oven to 375.Melt 1 cup margarine in saucepan.Remove teddy bear from oven and tell Jr "no, no."Add margarine to 2 cups sugar. Take shortening can away from Jr. and clean cupboards.Measure 1/3 cup cocoa.Take shortening can away from Jr. again and bathe cat.
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Which England player keeps up the fuel
supply?
Paul gas coin!
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What kind of cereal do cats eat? Mice Crispies!
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