IDIOTS IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD

Mary Simpson was almost crazy with her three kids. She complained to her best friend, "They're driving me nuts. Such pests, they give me no rest and I'm half-way to the nut hatch.""What you need is a playpen to separate the kids from yourself," her friend said.So Mary bought a playpen.
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Yo mama nose so big she makes Pinochio look like a cat! Yo mama nose so big that her neck broke from the weight!
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What is a snakes favourite opera ?

Wriggletto !
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Father Murphy walked
into a pub and said
to the first Marine he met, "Do you want to go to
heaven?" The
Marine said, "I do Father." The priest said, "Leave this
pub right
now!"

He then approached a second Marine. "Do you want to got to
heaven?"
"Certainly, Father," was the Marine's reply.
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One day a rather inebriated ice fisherman
drilled a
hole in the ice and peered into the hole and a loud voice
said, "There
are no fish down there."

He walked several yards
away and drilled another hole and peered into
the hole and again the
voice said, "There's no fish down there.
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Two guys are in a locker room when one guy notices the other guy has acork in his ass. He says, "How'd you get a cork in your ass?" The other guy says, "I was walking along the beach and I tripped over a lamp. There was a puff of smoke, and then a red man in a turban came oozing out. He said, "I am Tonto, Indian Genie.
Category: Situations - 0 Comments

|When asked for her occupation, a woman charged with a traffic violation said she was a schoolteacher. The judge rose from the bench. "Madam, I have waited years for a schoolteacher to appear before this court," he smiled with delight. "Now sit down at that table and write 'I will not pass through a red light' five hundred times."
Category: Dumb Jokes - 0 Comments

Q. Why do men name their penises? A. Because they want to be on a first-name basis with the person whomakes all their decisions.
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What do you call a chicken that crosses the road

without looking both ways?
Dead.
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A long time resident of San Francisco is packing allhis stuff into boxes. His roommate comes in & askswhat he's doing. "I'm leaving !" he replies. "They justmade homosexuality legal.""So why leave now ?" queries his roomie. "Gays havebeen part of the scene here for years and years.""Yeah, I know." he replied.
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