Insect jokes

The social
worker asked the bartender
"What's the difference between your job and
mine?"
The bartender
replied: "I only had to go to bartender school for 6
weeks and I
learned to mix a very good drinks, than wait a couple of hours
to
have people tell me their innermost thoughts while you went to
school
for 6 years, paid
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|A prominent lawyer's son dreamed of following in his father's footsteps. After graduating from college and law school with honors, he returned home to join his father's firm, intent on proving himself to be a skilled and worthy attorney.
Category: Lawyer Jokes - 0 Comments

One day while walking down the street

a highly successful executive woman was tragically hit by a bus and
she
died. Her soul arrived up in heaven where she was met at the
Pearly
Gates by St. Peter himself. "Welcome to Heaven," said
St.Peter. "Before
you get settled in though, it seems we have a problem.
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Riding a merry-go-round on Sundays is considered a crime. Illegal for a man to give his sweetheart a box of candy weighing less than fifty pounds. You may not fish on a camel's back. Residents may not fish from a giraffe's back. A person may not be seen in public without a smile on their face.
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- How come blonde girls have bruises around and in their bellybuttons?- I don't know...Why?- Because blonde boys are stupid as well!
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Lady Di is welcomed at the Pearly Gates by St. Peter. Peter asks: "Oh dear, what happened to you?" Di answers: "I died in a car crash, but wait till you see my friend, he looks much worse". Half an hour later Dodi shows up and St. Peter says: "My God, you look terrible."Dodi replies: "This is nothing. Wait till you see my driver.
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The 5 toughest questions that women ask men, and the answers...The questions are:1.What are you thinking about?2.Do you love me?3.Do I look fat?4.Do you think she is prettier than me?5.
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A rather attractive woman goes up to the bar in a quiet rural pub. She gestures alluringly to the barman who comes over immediately. When he arrives, she seductively signals that he should bring his face close to hers. When he does so, she begins to gently caress his beard which is full and bushy.
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Why did the monster
take a dead man
for a drive in his car?
Because he was a car-case.
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Last year's Christmas pudding was so

awful I threw it in the ocean.
That's probably why the ocean's full
of currants!
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