Internet jokes

President Clinton to maid: Mam, can you do

something about Hillary's room.
She complains that it's the
ugliest room in the White House. Maid:
Yes,
Mr. President--I'll
remove the mirrors right away.
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What's the difference between an American
student and
an English student ?
About 3000 miles !
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Why did God give deers eyes? I have no eye-deer!
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What does a monster mom say to her
kids at
dinnertime?
Don't talk with someone in your mouth.
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A young girl is with her dad at the barbers eating somecandy, when it slips from her fingers into a pile of hairon the floor. "Oh dear, have you got hair on your candy?" asked the barber. "Don't be so stupid, I'm only three!!" said the girl!
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Why did the man cross the road?Because his penis told him to. or Because he thought he could get laid if he did. or So the woman driving down the street could hit him. (You know us women, we just can't drive worth shit...) or Because another man dared him to and called him a pussy.
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|A couple of old guys were golfing when one said he was going to Dr. Taylor for a new set of dentures in the morning.His friend remarked that he had gone to the same dentist a few years before. "Is that so?" the first said. "Did he do a good job?""Well, I was on the course yesterday when the fellow on the ninth hole hooked a shot," he said.
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Did you hear about the terrible automobile accident last night?A polish family on vacation lost all of their children. The pickup truck they were riding in ran off the road into a lake and sank to the bottom.The parents got out of the cab OK but all the kids in the back drowned...they couldn't get the tailgate open
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At the Cedar Rapids Chamber of Commerce meeting

the treasurer reported a deficit of two hundred dollars.

One
of the chamber members stood up and said,

"I vote that we donate
half of it to the Red Cross and then give the
other fifty dollars
to the Salvation Army."
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Any argument that a man and woman are involved in, the woman gets the last word. Anything a man says afterwards is the beginning of a new argument.A man marries a woman, expecting she will never change, and she does. A woman marries a man expecting he WILL change, and he doesn't.
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