Internet jokes

A mother of two teenage boys, was constantly
being asked to
look for things they couldn't find. Most of the time
these items were
directly in front of them. Seeing her frustration
over this when it
happened yet again, one of her sons remarked:

"It's not my fault, Mom. I don't have 'parental vision:"
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What did the ruthless businessman say to

his employees?
If at first you don't succeed - you're fired!
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Q: What do you call a dog with no legs?A: It don't matter what you call him, he ain't commin'!
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The teacher was furious with her son. "Just
because
you've been put in my class, there's no need to think you can
take
liberties. You're a pig." The boy said nothing. "Well! Do you
know
what a pig is?" "Yes, Mom," said the boy. "The offspring of a

swine."
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An extremely drunk man looking for a whorehouse stumblesinto a Podiatrist's office instead and weaves over to thereceptionist.Without looking up, she waves him over to the examinationbed and says, "Stick it through that curtain."Looking forward to something kinky, the drunk pulls out hispenis and sticks it through the crack in the curtains.
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Adding Up
by Juan & Juan
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There once was a brother and a sister, fraternal twins, who were approaching their high school graduation. It was getting near prom night and neither of them had a date for it. So one day, the girl approaches her brother and says "Hey, you got a date for the prom yet?"He says "No, why? You got someone lined up for me?" "You might say that.
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|A patient came to his dentist with problems with his teeth.Patient: Doctor, I have yellow teeth, what do I do?Dentist: Wear a brown tie!
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Pride is what you feel when your kids net $143
from a garage sale.
Panic is what you feel when you realize your
car is missing.
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One day Pete was complaining to his friend "my elbow hurts. I bettersee a doctor". His friend said "Don't do that. There's a computer inthe drug store that can diagnose anything. It's quicker and cheaperthan visiting a doctor. Simply put a urine sample in the machine andit will diagnose your problem and tell you what to do about it.
Category: Situations - 0 Comments