Knock Knock jokes

What was the name of Tom
Sawyer's
fish?
Huckleberry Fin!
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If K-Tel sold toasters...They would not be available in stores, andyou would get a free set of Ginsu knives.
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What's the difference between a nine-month pregnantwoman and a Playboy centerfold?Nothing, if the pregnant woman's husband knows what's good for him.
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Knock Knock
Who's there !
Candy
!
Candy who ?
Candy cow jump over the moon !
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Why do some accountants
decide to become
actuaries?
They find bookkeeping too exciting.
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At the Russian War College, the general is a guest lecturer and tells the class of officers that the session will focus on potential problems and the resulting strategies. One of the officers in the class begins by asking the first question, "Will we have to fight a World War Three?" "Yes, comrades, looks like you will," answers the general.
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A blind man was standing on the corner with his dog when the dog raised his leg and wet on the man's trouser leg.The man reached in his pocket and took out a doggie biscuit.A busybody who had been watching ran up to him and said, "You shouldn't do that. He'll never learn anything if you reward him when he does something like that!".
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|Tom was so excited about his promotion to Vice President of the company he worked for and kept bragging about it to his wife for weeks on end. Finally she couldn't take it any longer, and told him, "Listen, it means nothing, they even have a vice president of peas at the grocery store!". "Really?" he said.
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A
mafioso's son sits at his desk writing
a Christmas list to Jesus. He first
writes, "Dear baby Jesus, I
have been a good boy the whole year, so I
want a new..." He looks at
it, then crumples it up into a ball and
throws it away.
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A fellow picked up a girl in a bar and took her home with him. After some preliminary drinks and talk, they got undressed, climbed into bed and generally got organized for a leg over. After a few minutes, the girl started laughing. The fellow asked her what she found so amusing. "Your organ," she replied. "It's a bit on the small side.
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