Knock Knock jokes

Q: How many Virgos does it take to change a
lightbulb? A:
Let's see: One to spot the bulb, one to record the time
the bulb burned
out and the date it was bought, one to decide
who's fault it is the bulb
burned out and ask why that brand was chosen
in the first place, ten to
decide to remodel the house as long as
they're changing
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What did the mummy snake say to the crying baby

snake?
Stop crying and viper your nose.
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A customer walks into a restaurant and notices a large sign on the wall:$500 IF WE FAIL TO FILL YOUR ORDER!When his waitress arrives, he orders elephant dung on rye.She calmly writes down his order and walks into the kitchen where all hell breaks loose!The restaurant owner comes storming out of the kitchen.
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A tiny but dignified old lady was among a group looking at an art exhibition in a newly opened gallery. Suddenly one contemporary painting caught her eye."What on earth," she inquired of the artist standing nearby, "is that?"He smiled condescendingly. "That, my dear lady, is supposed to be a mother and her child.
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Why are dumb blonde jokes one liners?So men can understand them.
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A tourist is picked up by a cabbie in
New York on a dark
night. The passenger taps the driver on the
shoulder to ask him something.

The driver screams, loses control of
the car, nearly hits a bus, drives
up on the sidewalk, and stops
inches from a shop window.
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Q: What did the blonde do
when she got her
period?

A: Looked around for the bastard that must have shot
her?
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A policeman had a
perfect spot to watch for
speeders, but was not getting many.

Then, he discovered the
problem; a 10 year old boy was standing up the
road with a hand painted
sign which read, "SPEED TRAP AHEAD".

The officer then found a
young accomplice down the road with a sign
painted "TIPS" and a
bucket of change.
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DEFINING SOCIETIES VIA THE OWNERSHIP OF 2 COWSFEUDALISM: You have two cows. Your lord takes some of the milk.PURE SOCIALISM: You have two cows. The government takes them and puts them in a barn with everyone else's cows. You have to take care of all the cows. The government gives you as much milk as you need.
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What do you do when a Chihuahua sneezes?
Get a
small hankie!
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