Looks bad on resume cover letters
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|1. I'm really keen to work for you, I hear the drugs are good.2. I regret that I have no references. Unfortunately, every company I have worked for has since closed down.3. I'll kill myself if I don't get a job.4. I know where you live.5. Any sentence beginning with "I was recently acquitted."6. I'm really tall, so I think I'd be well suited to this job.7. Happy faces.8. By the way, I understand that you have unmarried daughters.9. I'm confident that I'll get this job. The voices told me.
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Mary was having a tough day
and had
stretched herself out on the couch to do a bit of what she
thought
to be well-deserved complaining and self- pitying.
She moaned to
her mom and brother, "Nobody loves me ...
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and had
stretched herself out on the couch to do a bit of what she
thought
to be well-deserved complaining and self- pitying.
She moaned to
her mom and brother, "Nobody loves me ...
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Special High Intensity Training - S.H.I.T.MEMORANDUMTO: All EmployeesFROM: Communications ServicesSUBJECT: SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAININGIn order to assure that we continue to produce the highest quality work possible, it will be our policy to keep all employees well-trained though our Special High Intensity Training (S.H.I.T.).
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A doctor walks into a bank. Preparing to endorse a check, he pulls a rectal thermometer out of his shirt pocket and tries to write with it.Realizing his mistake, he looked at the thermometer with annoyance and said... "Well that's great, just great... some asshole's got my pen!"
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A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced ten husbands. On their wedding night, she told her new husband, "Please be gentle, I'm still a virgin." "What?" said the puzzled groom. "How can that be if you've been married ten times?" "Well, Husband #1 was a sales representative: he kept telling me how great it was going to be.
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A man walks
into a bar
and orders a shot then looks into his pocket. he does this
over and
over again. finally the bartender asks why he orders a shot and
after drinking it he looks into his pocket. the man responded " i have
a picture of my wife in there and when she starts to look good then
i'll go home."
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into a bar
and orders a shot then looks into his pocket. he does this
over and
over again. finally the bartender asks why he orders a shot and
after drinking it he looks into his pocket. the man responded " i have
a picture of my wife in there and when she starts to look good then
i'll go home."
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What did the rabbit bride get on her wedding
day?
A forty-carrot wedding ring.
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day?
A forty-carrot wedding ring.
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Did you hear
about the monster who had an
extra pair of hands?
Where did he keep them?
In a
handbag.mons
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about the monster who had an
extra pair of hands?
Where did he keep them?
In a
handbag.mons
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An auditor is checking the books of
an
airline. He is puzzled by the excess use of fuel on a Melbourne to
Canberra flight. He rings up the pilot and asks for an
explanation.
"It was late at night'" says the pilot, "Canberra was covered in
fog and I lost my bearings.
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an
airline. He is puzzled by the excess use of fuel on a Melbourne to
Canberra flight. He rings up the pilot and asks for an
explanation.
"It was late at night'" says the pilot, "Canberra was covered in
fog and I lost my bearings.
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Q. Why couldn't the Lesbian tennis star compete in the Dutch Open?A. She got her finger caught in a dike!
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Looks bad on resume cover letters
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