Man Named Furniture

A woman walks into a bank
in New York City
and asks for the loan officer. She says she is going to
Europe on
business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5000.
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A blonde walks into the police department looking for a job.The officer wants to ask her a few questions.... Officer: What's 2+2? Blonde: Ummmmm... 4! Officer: What's the square root of 100? Blonde: Ummmm... 10! Officer: Good! Now, who killed Abraham Lincoln? Blonde: Ummmm... I dunno. Officer: Well, you can go home and think about it.
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Top Twenty Countdown of the Best Oxymorons...
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A decorated war veteran, fresh off the bus, is looking for a place to stay. He hears that room and board is available from the three old spinsters at the edge of town, but is advised they are very picky in letting strangers stay there. He decides to chance it, and limps on up to the front door.His knock is answered by Gladys.
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** A waist is a terrible thing to mind. ** Air Pollution is a mist-demeanor. ** Atheism - A non-prophet organization. ** Boycott shampoo!!! Demand True poo! ** Chemistry professors never die, they just smell that way! ** Clones are people two. ** COLE'S LAW: Thinly sliced cabbage.
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Sign on a brake repair shop in Joliet, Illinois, "We stand in front of our work."Sign on a muffler shop in Santa Cruz, "We're the Nobody that Midas brags about."
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Deep in the woods sat a bear and a squirrel at the communal latrine. "Hmmm" says the bear to the squirrel, "Do you find that shit tends to stick to your fur?""Yes it does" replies the squirrel."Great!" says the bear, and wipes his ass with the squirrel.
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Why did Mickey Mouse take a trip
into space ?
He wanted to find Pluto !
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Zoo Keeper:"I've lost one of my

elephants"
Other Zoo Keeper:"Why don't you put an advert in the paper?"
Zoo
Keeper:"Don't be silly, he can't read!"
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Why are politicians like diapers?Both should be changed regularly and for the same reason.
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