Marriage jokes

yo mamma so fat she make a whale look
bulimic
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What happened to the two mad vampires?

They both went a little batty.
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Yo' Mamma is so ugly, I went into your house saw her TV was covered with cockroaches!I asked her what she was watching, and she said 'All My Children'
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Doctor, "What seems to be the problem?" Patient, "Doc, I've got the farts. I mean I fart all the time," The Doctor nods, "Hmm." Patient, "My farts do not stink and you can't hear them. It's just that I fart all the time. Look, we've been talking here for about 10 minutes and I've farted five times.
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Why did the poor dog chase his own tail ?
He
was trying to make both ends meet !
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How many men does it take to make

popcorn?
Four, one to hold the pot, and three to act macho and shake the

stove.
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One fall day Dave was out raking leaves when he noticed a hearse slowly drive by. Following the first hearse was a second hearse, which was followed by a man walking solemnly along, followed by a dog, and then about 200 men walking in single file.
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A pious man who had reached the age of 105

suddenly
stopped going to synagogue. Alarmed by the old
fellow's
absence after so many years of faithful attendance the Rabbi

went to see him.
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You Know You're in New York City When...1. Nuns walk down the street carrying automatic weapons.2. You can run into the corner deli and have an eat-in lunch with dessert in the time it takes to cross the intersection of 8th and 42nd at rush hour.3. A flying saucer can pass overhead and you hear the locals say, "Ack. More damned aliens."4.
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Once upon a time there was a female brain cell that by mistake happened to end up in a man's head. She looked around nervously but it was all empty and quiet. "Hello?" she cried, but no answer. "Is there anyone here?" she cried a little louder, but still no answer.
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