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This one little boy in about 4th or 5th grade was trying out for a school play. He earned a part and went home to tell his father.His father was really proud of him. So his father asks what part did you get?He replies I got the part or a man who has been married for 25 years.His father congradulated him. And then he said "Thats good son, maybe next time you'll get a talking role!"
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This women had a magic morror from which
anything you wanted you got,so one day she stood in front of the mirror
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down stairs to show her husband he was so amazed that he ran up
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anything you wanted you got,so one day she stood in front of the mirror
and said I wish i had bigger breasts and it happened so then she ran
down stairs to show her husband he was so amazed that he ran up
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and stood infront of the mirror and said i wish my dick could
touch the
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Mother: What was the first thing you learned in
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Daughter: How to talk without moving my lips !
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class ?
Daughter: How to talk without moving my lips !
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The Army Airborne major was used to harassment from AirForce fliers about crazy Army paratroopers jumping out of perfectly good aircraft.
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A prostitute goes to the hospital to visit a colleague who is about to have a heart transplant. She's worried about the friend so she asks the doctor: Girlfriend: I'm worried about my friend doc, what if her body rejects the organ?Doctor: Well she's 36 years old and healthy.
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"How come you're only
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watering
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just heard there was a fifty percent chance of rain."
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What does it mean when an accountant is
drooling out of
both sides of his mouth?
His desk is level
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His desk is level
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Whats the difference between a pig and a fox?.A 12-pack of beer!
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A man walks into a bar and
says, "Bartender, give me two shots."
Bartender says, "You want them
both now or one at a time?" The guy
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little guy here," and he pulls
a tiny three inch man out of his pocket.
The bartender asks "He
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says, "Bartender, give me two shots."
Bartender says, "You want them
both now or one at a time?" The guy
says," Oh, I want them both
now. One's for me and one's for this
little guy here," and he pulls
a tiny three inch man out of his pocket.
The bartender asks "He
can drink?"
"Oh, sure.
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Two men were walking through the woods when a large bearwalked out into the clearing no more than 50 feet in front of them.The first man dropped his backpack and dug out a pair of runningshoes, then began to furiously attempt to lace them up as the bearslowly approached them.
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"Now my motto in
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Harriet?"
"My motto is let bygones be bygones."
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"Then I wouldn't have to take any history
classes!"
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life," said the school
chaplain, "is work hard, play hard and pray
hard. How about you,
Harriet?"
"My motto is let bygones be bygones."
"That's good. Why
did you choose that?"
"Then I wouldn't have to take any history
classes!"
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