mccain & palin

How many physiotherapists
does it
take to change a light bulb?
None. They just give the dead bulb some
exercises to do and hope it
will be working a bit better the next
time they see it.
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Q: Have you heard about the new
Iraqi Air
Force exercise program?

A: Each morning you raise your hands
above your head and leave them
there.
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What did the cow wear to the football game?
A
Jersey.
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One day Mikey was sitting in his apartment
when his
doorbell unexpectedly rang. He answered the door and found a
salesman
standing on his porch with a strange object.
"What is
that?" Mikey asked. "It's a thermos," the salesman
replied. "What
does it do?" asked Mikey.
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Bob received a free ticket to the Super Bowl from his company. Unfortunately, when Bob arrived at the stadium he realized the seat was in the last row in the corner of the stadium. He was closer to the Goodyear Blimp than the field!About halfway through the first quarter, Bob noticed an empty seat 10 rows off the field right on the 50-yard line.
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Three men die and go to heaven. When they get to the pearly gates, St. Peter asks them each one question: "How many times have you cheated on your wife?" The first one answers "Never!" St. Peter checks the books, discovers the man is correct and gives him a Rolls-Royce to drive during his stay in heaven.
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One day the zoo-keeper noticed that "Cheech" the orang-utang was reading two books -- the Bible and Darwin's Origin of Species.In surprise he asked the ape, "Why are you reading both those books"?"Well," said the orang-utang, "I just wanted to know if I was my brother'skeeper or my keeper's brother."
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When did the criminal get smart?
When the
judge threw the book at him.
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The Mafia was looking
for a new man to make weekly
collections from
all the private businesses that they were
'protecting'.

Feeling the heat from the police force, they decided to use
a deaf
person for this job. If he were to get caught, he wouldn't
be able to
communicate to the police what he was doing.
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Did you hear about the guy who finally figured out women?He died laughing before he could tell anybody.
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