Mental health jokes

There once was a snail that wanted to buy a Nissan Z car.So, he went to a dealership and bought a car. "But," he said to the salesperson, "I would like my car personalized. Would it be possible to have the "Z" replaced with an "S"?" The dealer said yes, and it was done.
Category: Miscellaneous - 0 Comments

Once there were four engineers traveling in a car. While they were traveling to their destination the car stalled on them. Then the first engineer who was a mechanical engineer said, "don't worry its probably engine problems. I will just pop open the hood and take a look at the motor".
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A blonde walks into the library. She walks up to the counter, SLAMS a book down and screams at the librarian, - "This is the WORST book I've ever read!" "It has NO plot and far too many characters!"The librarian looks up and calmly remarks -"So, you're the one who took our phone book..."
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Yo mama so fat she's got her own
area
code!
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Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it

sounds?
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|Which goal keeper can jump higher than a crossbar?All of them, a crossbar can't jump! Why do grasshoppers not go to many football matches?They prefer cricket matches! What stories are told by basketball players?Tall stories!Who won the race between two balls of string?They we're tied! Why are football players never asked for dinner?Because
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|This is the transcript of an actual radio conversation of a US naval ship with Canadian authorities off the coast of Newfoundland in October, 1995.Radio conversation released by the Chief of Naval Operations on November 10, 1995. Americans: Please divert your course 15 degrees to the North to avoid a collision.
Category: Military Jokes - 0 Comments

You're trapped in a room with a tiger,
a
rattlesnake and a lawyer. You have a gun with two bullets. What

should you do?
You shoot the lawyer. Twice.
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Julie had broken off her
engagement. Her
friend asked her what had happened. 'I thought it was love at
first
sight,' said Julie.
'It was, but it was the second and third
sights that changed my
mind.
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Q: Why can't you hear a
viola on a digital
recording?
A: Recording technology has reached such an advanced
level of
development that all extraneous noise is eliminated.
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