Military jokes

A guy goes to a psychiatrist. "Doc, I
keep
having these alternating recurring dreams. First I'm a teepee;
then I'm
a wigwam; then I'm a teepee; then I'm a wigwam. It's
driving me
crazy. What's wrong with me?" The doctor replies: "It's
very simple.
You're two tents."
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Continuing with our list of dumb excuses that will guarantee you won't be invited out again! (unless of course your married an the wife makes you go!)I'D LOVE TO BUT...... I changed the lock on my door and now I can't get out. ... I feel a song coming on. ... I have to be on the next train to Bermuda. ... I have to bleach my hare. ...
Category: Miscellaneous - 0 Comments

What are you doing?
I'm trying to
call Washington!
Oh, haven't you heard? He's dead!
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Policeman: Why are you driving on the
sidewalk?
Motorist: It's too dangerous on the street.
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Why do all blondes all have a dimple on their chin and a flat forehead? Finger on chin I don't know. Hits forehead Oh I get it!
Category: Blonds - 0 Comments

This was originally posted in rec.sport.pro-wrestlingDat e: 1999/03/04Author: briang68g@gearthlink.netI like monkeys. The pet store was selling them for five cents a piece. Ithought that odd since they were normally a couple thousand. I decided notto look a gift horse in the mouth. I bought 200. I like monkeys.I took my 200 monkeys home.
Category: Animal World - 0 Comments

A woman went to a sweet store to buy some
sweets.
The boy behind the counter said "Gosh, your ugly aren't you?,
I've
never seen anyone so hideous as you before"
"Young man" she
replied. " I didn't come here to be insulted"
"Really", he said,
"Where do you usually go ?"
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An aircraft is about to crash. There are

five passengers on board, but unfortunately only 4 parachutes. The
first
passenger says, "I'm Shaquille O'Neill, the best NBA
basketball
player. The Lakers need me, it would be unfair to them if I
died." So he
takes the first parachute and jumps.
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What's the difference between a sigh, a car and

a monkey? A sigh is oh, dear. A car is too dear. A monkey is you,

dear.
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A young girl is wandering through a park in the pouring rain, when she comes across 3 dogs. Being a bit of an animal lover, she approaches them, bends down and starts to stroke one of them: "Ah, you're lovely, aren't you?" she says to the first dog.
Category: Miscellaneous - 0 Comments