Monster jokes

2 pshycologists met each other in a street one day.One said to the other, "You're good today, how am I?
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What's the chilliest ground in the
premiership?
Cold Trafford!
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Men are like
mascara.

They usually run
at the first sign of emotion.
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What do you get if you cross a cat with a tree
?
A cat-a-logue !
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What does CPA stand for?
Can't Produce
Anything
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'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the Net,There were hacker's a surfing. Nerds? Yeah, you bet.The e-mails were stacked by the modem with care,In hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there.The newbies were nestled all snug by their screens,While visions of Java danced in their dreams.
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What kind of ants are very learned ?
Pedants
!
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Q: How can you tell the difference between snowmen and snowwomen?A: SNOWBALLS!!!
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|The new Ensign was assigned to subs, where he'd dreamed of working since a young boy.He was trying to impress the Master Chief with his expertise learned in Submarine School. The Master Chief cut him off quickly and said, "Listen, 'sir', it's real simple. Add the number of times we dive to the number of times we surface. Divide that number by two.
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Q: What's the difference between trumpet

players and government bonds?
A: Government bonds eventually mature
and earn money.
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