Monster jokes

What do you get if you cross a frog with a ferry

?
A hoppercraft !
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What did the fish say when it swam into the concrete wall?"Dam."
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|How do mice celebrate when they move home?With a mouse warming party
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|A friend got married and I, being the best man, decided a humorous practical joke was in order. One of the duties of the best man is to make arrangements for the pick up and return of the groom's tuxedo.After final fitting, rent an extra coat jacket that is either three or four sizes smaller or larger than the groom's.
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A young boy asked his mother "Ma, is it true that people can be taken apart like machines?" "Of course not, where did you hear such nonsense?" replied by his mother The young boy answered " The other day, Daddy wastalking to someone on the phone, and he said that he screwed the ass off his secretary."
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Why do penguins eat fish?
Because donuts
get soggy before they can catch them.
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TOP TEN things men would do if they woke up and had a vagina for a day:10. Immediately go shopping for zucchini and cucumbers.9. Squat over a hand-held mirror for an hour and a half.8. See if they could finally do the splits.7. See if it's truly possible to launch a ping pong ball 20 feet.6. Cross their legs without rearranging their crotch.5.
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An explorer in the deepest Amazon suddenly finds himself surrounded by a blood thirsty group of cannibals. Upon surveying the situation, he says quietly to himself, "Oh God, I'm doomed!"There is a ray of light from the sky above and a voice booms out: "No my son, you are NOT doomed.
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What do you call a man with a rabbit up his
jumper ?
Warren !
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Dewey and Odell met
on the Brownsville main
street. "Say," said Dewey, "Ah hurd yew and
yore wife is goin' ta
night school ta take Spanish lessons. How cum?"
"Uh huh," answered
Odell. "We went and adopted us a little Mexican
baby, and we wanna
be able ta understand him when he gets old enough ta
talk!"
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