Motherinlaw's Funeral

A business man was interviewing

applicants for the position of divisional manager. He devised a simple test to

select the most suitable person for the job. He asked each
applicant the
question, "What is two and two?"

The first interviewee
was a journalist. His answer was "Twenty-two."

The second was a
social worker.
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What do you get if you sleep under a cow?A PAT on the head.Sent by Jimmy
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A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license. She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys could get your act together.Just yesterday one of you takes away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you!!"
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Where do football directors go when they are fed

up ?
The bored room !
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Why do
burgers laugh when you surround them
with pickles?
Who knows - maybe they're picklish!
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An Italian, a Scotsman, and a Chinese fellow
are
hired at a construction site.

The foreman points to a huge
pile of sand and says to the Italian guy,
"You're in charge of
sweeping." To the Scotsman, he says, "You're
in charge of shoveling."
And to the Chinese guy, "You're in charge
of supplies.
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Whats the difference between a bunch of lawyers in a porcheand a porcupine? - A porcupine has pricks on the outside!
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A judge was interviewing a woman regarding her pending divorce, and asked, "What are the grounds for your divorce?" She replied, "About four acres and a nice little home in the middle of the property with a stream running by." "No," he said, "I mean what is the foundation of this case?" "It is made of concrete, brick and mortar," she responded.
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Why did God invent economists?
So
accountants could have someone to laugh at.
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This fella goes to the doctor and says"Doctor, I've got a rash round my cock, have you got anything for it?"The doctor said" put this on and come back next week if it doesn't work.
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