No Coffee Breaks

How To Give Your Cat a Pill 1. Grasp cat firmly in your arms. Cradle its head on your elbows, just as if you were giving a baby a bottle. Coo confidently, "That's a nice kitty." Drop pill into its mouth.2. Retrieve cat from top of lamp and pill from under sofa.3.
Category: Animal World - 0 Comments

Q: What's a brunette's mating call?A: Has that blonde gone yet?A2: When is that blonde bitch going to leave!?A3: "All the blondes have gone home!"
Category: Miscellaneous - 0 Comments

I wish there was a knob on the TV to turn up the intelligence. There's aknob called 'brightness', but it doesn't work.
Category: Miscellaneous - 0 Comments

A friend meets up with her friend as she is
picking
her car up from the mechanic.

Her friend asks,
"Everything ok with your car now?"

The blonde replies, "Yes, thank
goodness. I was worried that my
mechanic might try to rip me off, so I
was relieved when he told me all I
needed was blinker fluid."
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What do you get if you cross a newsreader
and a toad
?
A croaksman !
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Did you hear that the Post Office had to

recall its series of stamps depicting famous lawyers? People were

confused about which side to spit on.
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Men are like cement.
After getting laid, they
take a long time to get hard.
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Q: Why was a blind man's leg wet?

A: Her
dog was blind too.
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How do, like, really laid-back types answer
the phone?
Mellow.
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When doesn't a telephone work

underwater?
When it's wringing wet!
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