Old age jokes

Playboy is coming out with a new magazine for
men who
are married.

Every month the centerfold is the
exact same woman.
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What do you call a Polish aardvark?
A
Polaark!
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The Pope took a philosophy professor (an

atheist at that) out fishing on
a large lake. As they drifted on
the still lake, the philosopher
accidentally dropped an oar and
watched it float away. The pontiff
stepped out of the boat, walked across
the water to the oar, grabbed it
and walked back to the boat.
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Jay:
Does the Bible say that if
you smoke you can't get to
heaven?
Ted: No, but the more you smoke
the quicker you'll get there.
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Q: Why do blondes drive VWs?
A: Because they
can spell it.
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Guess what? You're pregnant!
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A
persistent job-seeker once appeared
before President Lincoln and demanded
an appointment to a judgeship. He
was informed that there were no
vacancies. The next day, while
walking along the river, he saw a drowned man
being pulled out, and
recognized him as a federal judge.
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Why aren't football stadiums built in outer
space?
Because there is no atmosphere!
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A travelling salesman stopped alongside a field on a country road to rest a few minutes.The man had just closed his eyes when a horse came to the fence and beganto boast about his past. "Yes sir, I'm a fine horse. I've run in 25 racesand won over ?5 million. I keep my trophies in the barn.
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A couple were in bed after celebrating their golden anniversary. The wife Said, "Darling, embrace me the way you used to when we first got Married." He did."Now kiss me the way you used to...""Now darling, bite me the way you used to.
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